Editor’s note: This article was written before “the” Spain game. It matters little to enjoying the article. It’s just that I’ve always wanted to write an editor’s note.
Doing something.
I didn’t do anything on Saturday. Which, as you get older, means you did something valuable. I think. Staying up to 11:30 the night before didn’t help—for some reason, I had a hankering for a movie with Gerard Butler in a submarine.
Hunter Killer.
Boom.
(It’s exactly what you’d expect, without his cry for something to drink.)
Anyway, I didn’t do anything on Saturday. Of course, I did something. I woke up (at 8!). I read. I wrote. I watched a YouTube about this guy visiting Uganda. I listened to a playlist created by Nick Hornby. But I didn’t really do anything.
I did something on Sunday. Or, I’m pretty sure I did. It’s still Saturday now. And I’m still not doing anything.
Gimmee a slice…
We live in New york City.
Or, just ‘The City’ if you are hip. Like ordering a slice of cheese pizza. Nobody around here does that. You say ‘gimmee a slice’. And Ray shoves his large metal spatula into his large brick oven, swings around and plops a slice of cheese pizza on the thinnest, floppiest paper plate you’ve ever dared to handle.
So, we live in The City (!) for reasons that will become apparent later. It’s a great place to live with culture everywhere and getting into La Guardia from Missoula, Montana is every bit as shocking as it sounds and we don’t drive and we love the energy.
Speaking of not driving and Montana. I took the subway to near Madison Square Garden, Penn Station and the Empire State Building (I could have just said 34th Street but what fun is that!) for an appointment at the DMV.
Rather, a baby DMV. ‘DMV Express’ I think it was. I went down to the DMV Express to get a non-drivers license ID. A city of millions of people that hates car traffic so much (not that much though apparently thank you very much Kathy Hochul) that it offers a non-drivers license ID. It’s the same as a drivers license—I use it to get through airports and to get into The Met but I can’t use it to show the police officer when I am trying to convince him that I didn’t see the no-right turn sign because I won’t be driving.
While I was waiting for my appointed time, I thought how silly a non-drivers license ID would be in Montana. The baby DMV would be laughed at!
So, we live in The City (ahem)… wouldn’t be cool if there was a bar that seemed like Cheers? Not like all “Norm!” and stuff because that would be borderline sad.
But more like a neighborhood bar that was full of adults who just wanted to step out of The City’s ‘energy’ for two minutes and sit and have a drink at a bar that may know your name.
That’s what Amsterdam Ale House reminds me of.
Some folks come in together. Some meet while already there. And some are there by themselves just to take a break.
There are three bars with this kind of vibe. Maybe there are more however in my six-block radius that I will never leave, there are only three.
Amsterdam Ale House
Dive 75
Dead Poeet
Amsterdam Ale House isn’t the closest but it’s probably the best when it comes to finding a cheers-like experience.
Amsterdam Ale House
Address. 340 Amsterdam Avenue, New York, NY 10024 (map)
Hours.
Kitchen: 12:00pm — 11:45pm
Bar: 12:00pm — 1:45am
Happy Hour: 3:00pm — 6:00pm
Phone. (212) 362-7260
Website. www.amsterdamalehouse.nyc
Email. amsterdamalehouse@gmail.com
Socials.
A recent visit...
I walked over to catch the Germany v. Spain Euro 2024 game.
(By the way, I didn’t realize that referee got busted for some shady stuff two decades ago, paid the price, rebuilt his career, then refereed this match and that become an issue. Two decades ago! We’re a nation of cheering on the comeback story! Crazy!)
Also crazy, the amount of folks who took a long lunch to watch this game. (It was a pretty good game!) I don’t know how these folks are able to take calls in a bar when the TV is blaring a Scottish commentator yelling “Yamal Lamine is only 16 years old!”. Feels lime someone in that company should be asking questions.
So, Amsterdam Ale House is great for all the reasons you’d think a Cheers-like bar would be great. With the addition that if there is a big game on and nobody complains, they will absolutely jack up the audio from the game. (It turns back to music during half time to fool anyone thinking it wasn’t a sports bar. Half time is over… Surprise!)
And food. They also serve food, which I don’t think Cheers had a full kitchem, just Woody filling bowls of bar nuts.
I have heard the womens’ bathrooms are not postcard worthy. Dude’s bathrooms are not bad, and are nowhere near sprawling. Not even with a fisheye lens. Good luck sucking in your gut just to close the door behind you. And if you think you are getting out of the bathroom with some bruce lee “I won’t touch anything with my hands” acrobatics, think again.
They aren’t bad. They just aren’t like the bathrooms at the Venetian in Las Vegas. And if you are used to any other bar/restaurant bathroom in New York, you won’t be surprised.
Also, it’s 2024, so Amsterdam Ale House uses QR codes for menus. You still order from the bartender or wait staff. You just use the QR codes to see what you are going to order.
That’s really it. The place is so great because it really is unremarkable. You know how some people are all “it’s the people that make it so great blah blah blah”, and you roll your eyes because that’s never true?
That’s this place. Cheers, but better. Because, you know, it’s an actual place.
Eat this...
Think bar food when ordering here. No clams casino or sparkiling Dr Oz-inspired chacuterie boards. Meat and potatoes baby:
Turkey burger. Just good. Ask for all the fixings, and all the condiments. Add cheese so they know you know what’s up.
Mac and cheese. It’s like really good soup, but with macaroni. And cheese.
Stuffed pretzel. A recent find. Hot. HOT! I think there’s jalapeño and cheese stuffed inside. And it’s not gross-stuff. Classy-stuffed.
Cuban sandwich. Surprising delicious! Your pick of a side–traditional french fries for me!
Drink this...
A great variety of local, regional and international beers.
Brooklyn Lager. I really like this beer.
Youngling. I also really like this beer.
Gin and tonic. They serve Hendricks. Game on.
Tips & tricks...
Corner office. It’s silly, but not everyone knows about this little alcove in the corner. Makes me feel like I know what I’m doing when I sit here. Be sure that your drink is as close to the bar as possible so they know you exist.
Ge there before the bands do. I think the Beacon is right around the corner? And maybe there’s some secret entrance from Amsterdam Ale House to the Beacon? Or is that from the comedy show place next door? Bands come here before (and after) their sets. Kinda fun.
Turn up the volume. It’s New York, so there’s always a game on. And when the BIG games are on, they don’t shy away from turning up the volume. Not always the case in The City.
Other stuff...
I took my GoPro with me on this last trip so I can try and be all casual and share the inside of Amsterdam Ale House. I felt like a renegade.
This is the kind of content you are here for. (See short clip, above. I don’t know what I’m going to do with fifteen minutes of video of my arms swinging up and down.)
I should note they have an outside with picnic benches. It’s nice and the wait staff are really good about checking in with you.
There are also street-side tables, too.
The challenge with both of these: they are on the side street (76th Street) and not on Amsterdam avenue, where all the foot traffic is.
If you are looking for people watching, there are a few tables in the vestibule right before you walk into the bar.
That was fun!
Thanks again for joining me–I hope you enjoyed reading about Amsterdam Ale House.
I don’t know what’s next yet. I am taking some new photos tomorrow morning (my current set is available at wiljr.photos) and then we are off to watch the Euro finals.
Keep an eye out for the next dispatch, coming soon!
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